Thank you for calling 1-800-SUICIDE
If you wish to self terminate by electric shock - press one
For termination by overdose - press two
If you would like to make a reservation at the end of our drowning pool - please press three
For termination by hanging - please press four
For death by self inflicting gunshot - press five
To speak to a representative, stay online
If you do not wish to die - please hang up now

1-800-SUICIDE
Or maybe Doctor Online could help you die
You need wings to fly
You need someone
To take your place
When you are gone